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1. Not my strong suit
2. I’m working on it
Dear friends and family,
Most of us find it easy enough to be patient with people we don’t have much at stake with. Who cares what other people say or do as long as it doesn’t impact us too much, right? But, when it comes to those that are close to us, it gets tricky. At least that’s the way it is for me. I’m not proud of my lack of patience. In fact, I feel downright embarrassed that I can be so disparate. If you are my friend or acquaintance, you might be thinking that I’m quite a patient person. If you are my husband, however, I’m sure it’s a very different story!
What’s up with this? Why is it so hard to be patient with a spouse, child, or parent? I don’t have the answer to my quandary but I do have a very patient husband who models how I strive to be.
I think that the key is being willing to look at ourselves, warts and all, and not let ourselves be overwhelmed by our failings.
Patience is defined as….”the capacity to accept or tolerate delay, trouble, or suffering without getting angry or upset.” It’s also defined by the words “tolerance ” and “self-restraint “.
At the least, I know I can be more tolerant and accepting. I can pause, if that’s what it takes, and try not to react with impatience or anger. I want to love and respect myself even more than I want it from others.
Please share your thoughts and feedback!
One of my favorite phrases this year is “in retrospect”. In retrospect I’ve spent the majority of my years focused on home and family. Even now at the age of 62 this is how I spend most of my days. Not a complaint or regret, I feel adventurous in my soul, so it surprises me that I’ve hardly been anywhere! I’ve “played it safe” on lots of different levels. I’ve lived in the same house for over 40 years. I spend significant time every day doing a lot of housework, yard work, and book work because I like order and organization. I rarely have a big shopping list because I go to the grocery regularly and am always cooking delicious food to have around. Keeping on top of things takes time but the end result is less stress. I get my exercise at the gym or walking around town instead of climbing mountains.
I dream about great adventures but that’s not the way it’s panned out for me this time around. Family, friends, and home are where my focus is In my next life I’ll be an adventuress, acting bold, taking chances, and traveling the world. For right now, though, I think I’ll curl up on the couch with popcorn, tea, and a good movie….
Dear friends and family,
It’s been 8 months since I last posted on this blog. You may have been wondering where I’ve been…..well, I’m here once again to tell you a story. In January of this year, specifically 1/11/16, I reunited with you through my blog. I had returned to WW’s and “came clean” about my ongoing struggles with weight and food. I was doing good, making changes in a moderate, healthy way and it showed in my weight loss and self image.
On April 15th, Bob and I went to Aspen (where our son lives) for the purpose of helping him return home for a few weeks. He’s a chef and the plan was for him to stay with us in Lafayette while the restaurant where he worked as Sous Chef closed for off-season. Aaron had re-injured his knee that had undergone a reconstruction 11 years earlier from a skiing accident. The current re-injury just wasn’t healing despite the fact that he sought medical attention including xray and MRI. He thought that being back home, in a different environment and with our help, his knee might get better. We didn’t know at the time that Aaron had not been feeling well for a few months and that it wasn’t just about his knee. What happened on that fateful day of April 15, 2016, “coincidentally” when Bob and I journeyed to Aspen to drive him and his car back home to Lafayette, has been our focus for the past 7 months.
Aaron ended up collapsing and was taken to the ER at Aspen Valley Hospital. It was determined that he had some severe health issues. He was transferred to St. Mary’s Hospital in Grand Junction where he was in the ICU for a week, 3 weeks total. After a couple of days, Bob returned home to run his business but I stayed in Grand Junction with Aaron for the 3 weeks he was there. He spent the next month at physical rehab in Montrose, at which time I returned home to Lafayette. In early June, Aaron was able to come home to us! His recovery has been amazing to see. Aaron has dealt with obesity his whole life, and his medical issues have ended up being a blessing. Since April he’s lost 111 lbs! The 3 of us support each other on multiple levels and we all reap the benefits of living a healthy lifestyle. Big surprise – healthy eating, activity, and positive thinking is the key :-)))
Having almost lost my son puts everything else into perspective. I look forward to sharing my thoughts on many things with you in the days and months to come.
Love and peace,
Dear friends and family,
Today would have been my mom, Marilyn Scher’s 93rd birthday. She was such a beautiful woman, incredibly loving and accepting. She taught me to let other people be who they are, don’t try to change them….that everyone handles things differently, and it doesn’t need to be a matter of right or wrong….that everything happens for a reason. I sometimes thought this was just a cliche when she said it, but now as I get older I realize more and more what she really meant. If we spend so much of our life energy fighting against the way things are, we don’t get to live fully in each moment, perfectly, exactly the way it is. When my dad died in 2002, mom said, “I took care of myself and him for over 60 years. Now, I’ll take care of myself”.
She was a lady in the true sense of the word. She dressed beautifully and always invested time to do her hair, nails, and makeup. She and my dad lived across the country from us, NY, and then Michigan. She was here for both of my sons births, and every other important milestone along the way. When my 1st son, Joshua was born she told me that I should take care of myself, to continue investing in myself because I’ll be a better mother that way. Wow! Anytime I would relate stories about her grandsons, Josh and Aaron, to her she would tell me that it’s not by chance that they are so great, that I should give myself credit for being such a wonderful mother. She was always proud of me, and made sure to tell me. I always felt better about myself because of her.
In the mid-1990’s, mom, my sister Judi and I began taking road trips together. They are some of the most wonderful memories I have (see 2nd picture). Mostly, they would come out here to Colorado and we would drive to the mountains, Vail, Aspen, Breckenridge, Steamboat. One time we drove down to New Mexico. We often laughed until we peed! I miss those times….
She lived to see my grandson, Atticus, her last great-grandchild, before she passed. One life ends, another begins….
I love you and miss you more than seems humanly possible, Mom. Thank you forever for loving me, taking care of me, teaching me, and filling my life with memories that I’ll treasure forever.
Dear friends and family,
It’s been two weeks since I started coughing a little and not feeling too great. I did my usual “natural remedies”, but I got worse, not better. A few days later I tried to get an appointment at Kaiser, but they couldn’t fit me in. They proceeded to do a “phone appointment”, even though I made it very clear that someone needed to listen to my chest and cough. The dr. I talked with conceded that I most likely had bronchitis but she would not prescribe antibiotics and gave me her reasons why. I called my previous dr (before becoming insured with Kaiser). They got me in quickly, I felt taken care of, and was told that I had very severe bronchitis. I was prescribed antibiotics, an inhaler, and codeine cough syrup. I spent the next week and a half doing pretty much nothing more than cuddling up on the couch and watching tv. I am now about 90% better, albeit with a lingering cough.
It’s clear to me that my immune system has not been functioning like it used to, and I’m committed to working to strengthen it. I’m sure many of you reading this have been under the weather, as well. It seems as if there’s an epidemic of sickness going on, and it’s taking most of us a really long time to get better. My whole life I had prided myself at rarely getting sick, and had actually only taken antibiotics a couple of times in 60 years! Now, in the last 2 years, I have exceeded that by double. It’s humbling to realize that things in life can change, and will often necessitate a change in consciousness, as well. I’ve adapted as best as I can, and hope to return to a renewed state of continuing health and vitality.
Here’s an aside for you….this is the first time that I can recall having a loss of appetite. Even in the throes of a terrible sinus infection a few months ago, I continued to eat as usual :-))) I will weigh in tomorrow, and should show a weight loss. Fingers crossed! I can stand back, observe myself, and find it fascinating that I was able to enjoy the bonus side effect of eating less, even in the midst of feeling like shit!
Dear friends and family,
This is the year that I get back to a healthy weight. Though I’m still impatient and want it NOW!, I’m realistic and understand that this isn’t the way it works. By saying “this year”, I don’t feel anxious or stressed about a deadline. I’m relearning how to be successful in a lasting, meaningful way.
I love food and I love life. To me, they still go hand in hand and I’m probably never going to change in this regard. At one of my recent WW meetings, the leader was sharing how she now eats to live instead of living to eat. I was impressed, but can’t imagine feeling that way myself. This week, I will total 3 lunches out with friends, and a dinner out with my husband. I know that eating out makes losing weight much more challenging, but I’m really not willing to sacrifice this enjoyable experience. All in all I’m having a good week and hope that I will have a loss when I weigh in on Friday morning.
I am a lover of movies, captivated by the whole experience. Going to the theater to watch a film is the ultimate. I love the fact that I’m doing nothing else but watching the movie. In this age of insane multi-tasking, it is very freeing for me to focus completely on one thing. Mind you, I watch plenty of movies at home, but I usually get side-tracked with something else (like cooking, laundry, or posting on my blog :-))
I often go to the movies by myself. I have several movie buddies, and I can often persuade Bob to come with me, but going solo is one of my absolute guilty pleasures. I see what I’m in the mood for and I don’t have to worry about whether my partner is enjoying the film. Sunday morning is one of my favorite times – inexpensive and usually uncrowded.
I’ve been excited all day as the clock ticks down to Oscar-time. It’s my Super Bowl! I love the clothes, the glitz, and especially the escape that a trip to movie-land provides for me.
In the scheme of things, how important is movie watching and the Academy Awards in my life? Not very. Just my way to kick back, unwind, and be entertained.