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I miss you, Mom….3/26/1923 – 11/15/2012

March 26, 2016

Dear friends and family,

Today would have been my mom, Marilyn Scher’s 93rd birthday.  She was such a beautiful woman, incredibly loving and accepting.  She taught me to let other people be who they are, don’t try to change them….that everyone handles things differently, and it doesn’t need to be a matter of right or wrong….that everything happens for a reason.  I sometimes thought this was just a cliche when she said it, but now as I get older I realize more and more what she really meant.  If we spend so much of our life energy fighting against the way things are, we don’t get to live fully in each moment, perfectly, exactly the way it is.  When my dad died in 2002, mom said, “I took care of myself and him for over 60 years.  Now, I’ll take care of myself”.

She was a lady in the true sense of the word.  She dressed beautifully and always invested time to do her hair, nails, and makeup.  She and my dad lived across the country from us, NY, and then Michigan.  She was here for both of my sons births, and every other important milestone along the way. When my 1st son, Joshua was born she told me that I should take care of myself, to continue investing in myself because I’ll be a better mother that way.  Wow! Anytime I would relate stories about her grandsons, Josh and Aaron, to her she would tell me that it’s not by chance that they are so great, that I should give myself credit for being such a wonderful mother.  She was always proud of me, and made sure to tell me.  I always felt better about myself because of her.

In the mid-1990’s, mom, my sister Judi and I began taking road trips together.  They are some of the most wonderful memories I have (see 2nd picture).  Mostly, they would come out here to Colorado and we would drive to the mountains, Vail, Aspen, Breckenridge, Steamboat.  One time we drove down to New Mexico.  We often laughed until we peed!  mom, dad, me 1958 Judi, Amy, Mom at Ashcroft. #2 jpg 155I miss those times….

She lived to see my grandson, Atticus, her last great-grandchild, before she passed.  One life ends, another begins….

I love you and miss you more than seems humanly possible, Mom.  Thank you forever for loving me, taking care of me, teaching me, and filling my life with memories that I’ll treasure forever.



So sick….better now!

March 17, 2016

Dear friends and family,

It’s been two weeks since I started coughing a little and not feeling too great.  I did my usual “natural remedies”, but I got worse, not better.  A few days later I tried to get an appointment at Kaiser, but they couldn’t fit me in.  They proceeded to do a “phone appointment”, even though I made it very clear that someone needed to listen to my chest and cough.  The dr. I talked with conceded that I most likely had bronchitis but she would not prescribe antibiotics and gave me her reasons why.  I called my previous dr (before becoming insured with Kaiser).  They got me in quickly, I felt taken care of, and was told that I had very severe bronchitis.  I was prescribed antibiotics, an inhaler, and codeine cough syrup.  I spent the next week and a half doing pretty much nothing more than cuddling up on the couch and watching tv.  I am now about 90% better, albeit with a lingering cough.

It’s clear to me that my immune system has not been functioning like it used to, and I’m committed to working to strengthen it.  I’m sure many of you reading this have been under the weather, as well.  It seems as if there’s an epidemic of sickness going on, and it’s taking most of us a really long time to get better.  My whole life I had prided myself at rarely getting sick, and had actually only taken antibiotics a couple of times in 60 years!  Now, in the last 2 years, I have exceeded that by double.  It’s humbling to realize that things in life can change, and will often necessitate a change in consciousness, as well.  I’ve adapted as best as I can, and hope to return to a renewed state of continuing health and vitality.

Here’s an aside for you….this is the first time that I can recall having a loss of appetite.  Even in the throes of a terrible sinus infection a few months ago, I continued to eat as usual :-)))  I will weigh in tomorrow, and should show a weight loss. Fingers crossed!  I can stand back, observe myself, and find it fascinating that I was able to enjoy the bonus side effect of eating less, even in the midst of feeling like shit!



This is the year….

March 2, 2016

Dear friends and family,

This is the year that I get back to a healthy weight.  Though I’m still impatient and want it NOW!, I’m realistic and understand that this isn’t the way it works.  By saying “this year”, I don’t feel anxious or stressed about a deadline.  I’m relearning how to be successful in a lasting, meaningful way.

I love food and I love life.  To me, they still go hand in hand and I’m probably never going to change in this regard.  At one of my recent WW meetings, the leader was sharing how she now eats to live instead of living to eat.  I was impressed, but can’t imagine feeling that way myself.  This week, I will total 3 lunches out with friends, and a dinner out with my husband.  I know that eating out makes losing weight much more challenging, but I’m really not willing to sacrifice this enjoyable experience.  All in all I’m having a good week and hope that I will have a loss when I weigh in on Friday morning.

Tonight’s dinner is a tostada made with leftover black eyed peas and steak, steamed chard, homemade green chile and veggies.  tostadaYum!



The Oscars!

February 28, 2016

I am a lover of movies, captivated by the whole experience. Going to the theater to watch a film is the ultimate. I love the fact that I’m doing nothing else but watching the movie. In this age of insane multi-tasking, it is very freeing for me to focus completely on one thing. Mind you, I watch plenty of movies at home, but  I usually get side-tracked with something else (like cooking, laundry, or posting on my blog :-))

I often go to the movies by myself. I have several movie buddies, and I can often persuade Bob to come with me, but going solo is one of my absolute guilty pleasures. I see what I’m in the mood for and I don’t have to worry about whether my partner is enjoying the film. Sunday morning is one of my favorite times – inexpensive and usually uncrowded. 

I’ve been excited all day as the clock ticks down to Oscar-time. It’s my Super Bowl! I love the clothes, the glitz, and especially the escape that a trip to movie-land provides for me. 

In the scheme of things, how important is movie watching and the Academy Awards in my life? Not very. Just my way to kick back, unwind, and be entertained. 


February 21, 2016

Fried eggs over brown rice, black beans, and veggies (leftovers from my lunch at Qdoba on Friday).  Yum!fried eggs over brown rice, black beans and veggies

It’s been so long….

February 21, 2016

Dear friends and family,

It’s been so long since I’ve had any real hope of losing weight and keeping it off.  When struggle and heartache becomes the norm over a long period of time, it’s quite a chore to turn that experience around. I’m just starting to feel like what I’m doing is really working and that all I have to do is continue to achieve my goal.  I remind myself often that what we do most of the time is what feels the most normal and comfortable, even if it’s something that we don’t like and want to change.  The only way to change is to accept discomfort and to keep plugging away.  Case in point – during the latter half of 2015 I had gotten out of the habit of regular activity.  Before that, I was pretty OK with my state of fitness.  I’ve never been an athlete, by any stretch of the word, but I could walk for miles without becoming winded, and looked forward to physical activity.  After becoming much less active (as well as not-so-great eating habits) while caring for my father-in-law during the last half of 2015, I was genuinely pissed off when I started regular exercise again.  It was hard!  My legs hurt, my hips hurt, my brain hurt!  I literally counted the minutes until I could go home.  I could barely do the elliptical, maybe 5 minutes tops whereas I used to feel quite proud of my usual 45 minutes – an hour elliptical workouts.  But, I persevered.  I set a minimum goal for myself that I knew I would accomplish without stressing.  The benefit of approaching my goals that way is that I will tend to feel successful rather than a failure.  Anyway, within a short period of time I was back to my earlier fitness level and I now enjoy my hour-long walks or workouts and even miss them if I’m too busy.

So….even though it’s been so long since I’ve had any real hope of losing weight and keeping it off, I now allow myself more and more of that tingle of excitement that comes with achievement.  I think about summer clothes that I haven’t been able to wear for years!  Mostly, though, I’m letting more and more of my guard down, the one that I’ve kept in place for fear of being disappointed and sad about myself.

Thanks for listening and sharing this journey together with me!



Yesterday’s lunch and thoughts about staying on track

February 17, 2016

Dear friends and family,

Yesterday’s lunch consisted of rotisserie chicken breast and sauteed green beans with mushrooms, garlic, and tomatoes.  Clean, simple food that tastes good and keeps me on track :-)))  It’s so much easier to stay on top of my eating when I am at home.  The minute that I’m in a different environment there’s some degree of struggle.  Today, I got to enjoy the Indian buffet at Taj Mahal in Lousiville with my friends Camilla and Alice (in celebration of Alice’s 80th birthday).  I did pretty good, but here’s an example of the point I just made….I had decided ahead of time that I wouldn’t have any naan, but then a plate of hot, soft naan gets placed on the table in front of me and I simply cannot do without.  I ended up eating about 1/2 of a wedge, certainly much less than I wanted or am accustomed to eating at an Indian buffet.  Just saying….

I’m feeling like I haven’t lost weight again this week, but Friday morning will tell the tale.  Either way, I am on a healthy path of working out regularly and eating consciously.  This fact alone brings me abundant comfort and encouragement.



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